Excerpt from "Operation Oh" - a Short Film about a Modern Woman's Struggle with Modern Man

INT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

GIRL 1 sits at table on her computer. Papers are spread out

next to her and she considers them.

GIRL 2 walks in through the door next to the table. She

notices the girl at the table.

GIRL 2

Meg!

GIRL 2 drops her backpack on the ground and sits next to the

girl at the table.

MEG

Hey! What's up?

GIRL 2

Nothing! When'd you get back? I

thought you were driving in tonight?

MEG

Yeah I was gonna, but I just have a

shit ton of work to do for tomorrow so

I left early. I brought back food

though.

GIRL 2

Awesome! How was home?

MEG

It was good! Saw the parents, ate good

food, slept in my comfy bed. The

usual.

GIRL 2

That's good.

MEG grins and leans back from the table.

MEG

But I did go over my friend's house,

and it was, like, a bunch of my

friends from high school and kids from

around town and stuff and I started

talking to this kid who used to be the

quarterback on the varsity team when I

was a freshman... one thing lead to

another and we ended up hooking up in

the backseat of his car.



GIRL 2 laughs.

What?!

MEG

Yep! He was there and we just started

talking. He is still working at Stop and Shop

but I don't care, I lived a teenage fantasy this

weekend.

GIRL 2

Congratulations.

MEG smirks and goes back to typing.

GIRL 2

Was it... good?

MEG

Okay, Surprisingly yes. Granted, I did

most of the work, but he gave me

something alright to work with.

GIRL 2

Like his penis?

MEG laughs.

MEG

Yes, like his penis.

GIRL 2 nods, contemplative.

GIRL 2

Because it was... long?

MEG

Eh, average? Kinda thick though.

GIRL 2

And you... liked that?

MEG

Yeah, girth over length 100%.

GIRL 2

Did he... did he like-



GIRL 2 makes jerking gesture.

MEG

What?

GIRL 2

You know, did he- I mean, you said it

was good, did he go fast?

MEG

Go- fast?

GIRL 2

Yeah like, was his... girth... going

around?

MEG

Fiona what the fuck are you talking

about?

FIONA

Nothing! I'm just- you know, you've

been gone the whole weekend, I just

want- to hear about it! I mean, I just

didn't do anything so I'm trying to

live vicariously. You know, with me

and Craig being so good- great even,

like, really great- I just want to

know what it's like to hook up. You

know, boozing...fucking... that kind

of thing.

A pause in conversation.

MEG

You're being weird.

FIONA

Oh my God.

MEG

You totally are. You're being weird.

You're even sitting weird.

FIONA

No I'm not!

MEG

What's up?



FIONA

Nothing-

MEG

Did you and Craig have a fight?

FIONA

No, we're fine.

MEG

Okay well... then?

FIONA

Look, it's- it's nothing, it's just-

Another pause.

FIONA

We had sex.

MEG

Dude! No way! I mean, not no way, but-

that's awesome! When?

FIONA

Saturday. We went to his dorm. We were

watching movies for a while and then,

like, it just happened.

MEG

Wow, sex on a twin XL. How romantic.

FIONA

Shut up.

MEG laughs and leans forward.

MEG

So?

FIONA

So... what?

MEG

How was it?

FIONA

Good... Good. I mean it was different?

Then I expected.



MEG

Different how?

FIONA

Just- I mean, it was kind of a lot of

moving.

MEG

That generally happens yes.

FIONA

But like... weird movements.

MEG

Weird... movements?

FIONA

Yeah, a lot of this-

FIONA demonstrates.

MEG

Looks about standard to me.

FIONA

Really?

MEG

Yeah, I mean if it was like that the

whole time, boring, but sex is kind of

standard I'd say. It didn't hurt?

FIONA

Not exactly? Not like- smelling grass

right after it's been cut but-

MEG

Okay, strange comparison, but - okay.

FIONA

It felt- strange. Fine. I just kinda

expected more?

MEG

It was also your first time. You guys

will learn fast, trust me.

FIONA

But Craig's not a virgin.



MEG

Craig isn't a virgin?

FIONA

Hey!

MEG

Not that that's surprising! He's,

yeah, he's super interesting.

FIONA

Would you stop?! Can we get back to

the core of this issue? To the-to the

meat of the problem-

MEG

Ha. Meat.

FIONA

Wow, thank you, you are super helpful.

[[End of Selected Excerpt]]